In Between My Alveolus.

"in between my alveolus,
there's you who kept my cells oxygenated,
the reason that i'm still inhaling and exhaling,"

how to tell exactly when we fall in love? God knows. Does he just makes you happy all the time you're around him without him even trying? When you think about a guy, he just seems to pop out of your mind? Do you say "ah fuck everything else," when you're risking something big with him? And that you just don't care about everything else? You would try as hard as you could to see him, even for awhile? Does his presence makes you burn with blush, and you can't look him in the eye cause you feel like digging a hole and putting your head in it? And everything that you do seems worth it, especially when it involves him?

"nobody going to love me better,
i must stick with you forever,
nobody could ever make me feel this way,
i must stick with you,"

For the past 10 hours, i had everything come to me in a bang; the moment i felt his touch. the first thing that came up to me was, "i want to be with him," and i've never had that before. and that after years and years of searching what i wanted deep down, and months damaging my head wth it,he just seems to be the answer to it, in every perspective. He makes me want to study hard, and that i'm determined that i could do just about everything all the alpha kids could do, if i would just focus. And that whatever it is that i wanted to be, i don't have to decide now but just do what i have to do now and everything would come as i go along. And as long as his with me all that time, i would be just fine. After i do what i have to do, i could just go with the flow. But the feeling of how he looked at me was surreal. i've never had that before; whether it was just me, God knows. But somehow i feel so flawless in his presence. so flawless that i could just feel the vibe of it. 

"kau adalah darahku,
kau adalah jantungku,
kau adalah hidupku lengkapi diriku,
oh sayang ku kau begitu,
sempurna,"

but most importantly is that i'm willing to risk getting hurt, the one thing that is the last thing i want to get myself into, for him. I've never felt so accepted in my life. And his the reason to everything that's good that i feel right now. Although he isn't mine, i don't mind as long as i have him in my life. He, who promises that i could call him at any time of the day no matter how late it is,if things went wrong but somehow i haven't find out if he keeps it yet. but just promising that he would be there for me, meant the world to me; by keeping it would mean the entire universe. He, who wants to be with me, no matter where and that made me feel so needed; and i feel so alive and humane. And if all these feelings were just my imagination telling me things to make me feel good, to hell with it.

"hate is easy,
love takes courage,"